In today’s post, I want to talk a bit about writing your own narrative. What does that mean? How can you take control of your life? Is it just wishy-washy influencer stuff? Read on to find out my own thoughts on this topic as well as how I think it can help change your perspective in your daily life.
What does it meAN?
First things first, I want to clarify what I personally mean by “writing your own narrative”. Other people will probably interpret it slightly differently, but for the sake of being on the same wavelength I’ll give you my own understanding of the term. Just like in a story, where the author writes the narrative for each character, “writing your own narrative” basically means taking charge of your life. Instead of waiting for things to happen, you make them happen. Rather than being a passive observer of your life, you become an active participant and agent. It means manifesting your dreams as opposed to letting them slide between your fingers. And maybe all this sounds wishful, impossible, improbable… but I do believe you can, to an extent, make this happen for you.
Be the author of your life
Everyday, from the moment of conception to when we are forgotten by the last person who remembers us, we are put into a box. From people defining your gender, to choosing your hobbies and placing you somewhere in the social ladder, it’s an inevitable occurrence. And a lot of people let the way others define them become the way that they define themselves. When, really, it should be the other way around. Don’t let others narrow your life’s trajectory. Don’t let them write your story. If you want to study X, live in Y or become Z, work towards that and don’t allow others’ conceptions of you change that.
A prime example
Speaking from a more personal point of view, I definitely – for a long time – let others determine how I viewed and valued myself. I was placed at the bottom of the petty social ladder at school, I was teased for being smart and working hard (a “nerd” lol), I didn’t have a massive group of friends and I was always led to believe by my peers that there was something wrong with me. And so, in turn, I let this dictate my self-worth (spoiler alert: it was low). Eventually that led to an eating disorder and years of disordered habits surrounding food and exercise… so yeah, it can have pretty serious consequences! Not always, but let this be a reminder to you to take your life by the horns and channel it in the direction you want it to go.
So how can you do it?
I guess that’s the million dollar question, right? If it were obvious, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? To be honest, I actually think it’s – in theory – quite easy to write your own narrative. You just be your own person and work towards what you want to do with your life. Unfortunately, because of social conditioning and structural violence, for a lot of people it’s easier said than done. I know that I speak from a position of privilege, and certain constraints don’t affect me. However, a lot of the time choosing your path involves ignoring other people’s judgement and having the self-confidence to just do whatever it is. Apply for that university. Take yourself on a date – alone. Reach out to that person. Start that blog. Wear the dress. If people point, stare, judge… chances are it all comes from a place of envy. And if not, their self-worth is probably low enough that they want to diminish others’ self worth.
It all comes back to self-love
It really is a concept that comes full circle. If you are put down by others and don’t believe you are worthy of love, then you will passively accept the life society has prescribed for you. But if you choose to shower yourself with the love and respect you deserve and actively work towards your dreams, you will write your own story. You’re the protagonist and the writer – so enjoy it! Obviously there will be events and occurrences in our lives that we cannot control, but you may as well take the reins when it comes to things you can control.
Anyway, I hope that post was interesting and helped to shift your perspective on a few things.